Tears of Silver Joy [Tenshi ver.2]

Hiatus

...This blog is officially on Hiatus...

Owner's note:
Haha, nope, the blog's new layout isn't out yet... Okie, I forgot totally about the frames part..~__~''' So the non-frames version should probably be out by Wednesday..which is when i will release the address i guess... hmm.. After taht i'll start making changes on the layout.. Oh ya, Photoshop rox~ [Thankies Jason~] ...*pause* Ya, photoshop rox~ *grins* Oh, hopefully non-frame version will be done by Wednesday... Come get the link from meh k?

Lastly, thankies Pitas for hosting my blog for about 5 years... *bows* Arigatou gozaimasu!

Fell in love with an angel 10:23 p.m.Sunday, April 3, 2005

Last entry~

Didn't expect this to be the last entry before hiatus... Had something else in mind... but..oh well...

Got back my econs mcq result..was damn demoralising... Well, i didn't expect it to be that bad... *thinks* What's more is that i got the wrong answers for all the questions that no one's suppose to get it wrong? Hmm..concept? But the thing is... When the teacher went through... I knew the concept.. but still between 2 answers [close ones?], i chose the wrong one... Seriously..i'm gonna be really glad if i even got 20+ for my essay & mcq [excluding data response]... I left the whole question blank... I admit that i wasn't in the mood to do an econs paper, so the whole paper was crap for me... Sigh..Honestly, it wasn't exactly mood... Didn't study finish... I know the stuffs but aren't familar enough to just apply.. *hates to regurgitate information* At least i wasn't in the right state of mind.. Sigh.. It's that bad... Haiz, know i can do it but i really need time...

If this goes on, i really don't know what to do anymore... i can't be having 'o' or 'f' everytime for my econs right? Now chemistry too... ain't any better... Slow learner.. GP is another thing... I gambled.. tried to see whether that method works... but it didn't.. it's either a pass or fail kind of thingy.. Eh..i lost the bet.. the teacher didn't like that kind of writing style and i got a little out of topic especially at the end...tsk.. It wasn't that bad..to be exact.. but considered bad for me... yup yup... I don't know why i have faith in my gp more than other subjects...even maths.. [I no longer have faith for my maths... no more..] It's not that my language is that good.. I don't know...Guess it's not really that affected by learning styles? Whether you're a fast or slow learner.. haha, i only got back my gp compo and already so many thoughts..haha..not that affected by gp... but a good command of english? I don't think i can do that if this goes on...

Wondered... whether i should mug like how i did during the start of second intake... At least i got more proper mid-year grades compared to now...[Maybe not maths..] I wanna at least get back my 'c' for chem...~__~ i think it feels alot worse when one keeps failling for that particular subject... in my case - econs and sees no way of improving.. Haiz, coz i'm quite dumb.. i really think so... [as much as i wanna be optimistic..i gotta be realistic...] Haha, reminds me of something from a movie... it says that you gotta understand the subject completely to get a good grasp of it... True... at least for me...After that, will be practices... Yingyi's way is different.. alot different from mine.. She's the do as you learn... haha, but i can't do that...i wondered why... But everyone have their learning methods... Back to the question... should i mug like i did? What's the point..really.. the school should really give us our one week break..haha..coz i can't do this.. Actually i intend to start doing my maths and chem tutorial beforehand...before next week.. I expected actual lessons to start then..And by then i would have completed.. but it isn't so... .......I probably should stop complaining right? ...Forgot to buy tea tonight... *ish tired* but i gotta complete or at least try out my maths... And the bad thing is...my learning style is... to understand before i do or apply.. not while i do, i understand... so... hope i last the night...

Oh, heard the Yuhua band version of 'Ithaca'... Woah..nice.. We are really going at a much slower speed.. I miss my flute... regretted not bringing it home... Somehow.. i look forward to sectional practice... Haiz, jia you ba~ The running notes... practised lotsa... memorised... I need self-confidence~~~ I cannot do this... Haha.. nonsense right? But i really can't.. not when i know that someone is taking speical notice to what i play or testing me... Alot more to go, shuui~ Alot more... Ganbatte yo~ And the thing is... SYF and studies? I always thought i could do that...juggle the two...eh.. but i don't think so anymore... When they were discussing about the concert for March... I really thought it was possible for us to work hard for both studies and band, eventually getting okay grades and a performance worth waiting for... ....But, i realised.. i couldn't.. at least on my part..

No longer knows what to do anymore... It's not like i'm not studying... I know i can do it... but i need time.. I need concentration.. I dont' know what else to do with myself to make it work...Haha, demoralised... I wrote on my econs paper today, on every page.."demoralised".. Haha... how how? I guess everyone have their own thinking... Maybe they are thinking that it's good enough that [IF]i passed... But it's really not enough..~___~ Can't stay 'E' forever... I don't wanna end up like my sis...when she didn't even study at all... Haiz...

Haiz...
....I wanna see Sagara-chan^___^ I always didn't have the time to meet her...
Okie, escaping is not a good idea... Haha, might have spilt personality after that... Eto, i can do that though... haha, my online persona..different right? online persona includes my personality when i'm around online friends.. don't ask me why... but i do act differently... guess that's what they meant by 'when you are around different groups of people, it affects how people act..' When they read my blog.. they'll realised i'm quite pessimistic actually... Shuuichi is chirpy^__^ haha..*thinks* What i feel... SGanime, no longer has a place for us... Things are different.. Many left..no longer posted... Well, it's common in forum ne? I'll fade away ba... It's no longer the world where i used to enjoy and have fun^___^ ...wait till i've saved enough money... I'll go KKnM with you, Sagara-chan^___^

Last entry.. The next one will be the hiatus notice... Get the new url from me k? contact me on msn or the guestbook in case i forgot to inform you all... New blog will hopefully be up by this weekend...

...Ja ne...
[EDIT] OMG~~~~ I clicked paste and the whole thing disappeared...~_____________~ Luckily there's the 'UNDO' button~~~ I LOVE YA~~~ <--undo button...~

Fell in love with an angel 09:36 p.m.Monday, March 28, 2005

Last 2 entries~

Shuui ish currently disturbed by HTML.. The new one would require frames...tsk...something i don't really like... Well, i can choose not to... but it's not really nice to put all your wishlist and all out in the main page? Haha..i'll see how... Photoshop..not settled.. I'll finish it by this week...definately...Ganbatte yo~

[SingYee]

Thankies for dropping by my guestbook wor^_________^ Haha...thankies wor... *ish encouraged* You too~ Haha, long time no see ya le~ One who has same thinking as me~ ^_____^ haha, hope to see ya in school~

[Anonymous]

I know i'm really late in replying..I hope you are still reading... How has everything been for you? I've always wanted to ask how are you...but didn't have the chance.. Thankies~ I really must say Thank you for being there^__^ I'll get your blog add from you sometime later k? May everything be alright for you and take care! See ya soon~

Okie, now i'm gonna sum up all the songs that's appeared in my blog..but that'll be an entry in my new blog.. *ish shifting entries to that blog* See everyone soon^________^

Fell in love with an angel 09:54 p.m.Sunday, March 27, 2005

Last 3 entries..

Shuuichi's 3rd last entry here in pitas... 2nd last one will be written right after this... the last one is when i've officially moved to another host...And on hiatus...

haha, spent time with my classmates on Thursday... it's fun~ though i was really tired..haha, watched son of mask...

Friday...Slept till 10am...woke up...online...doze off..went to sleep at 3.00+pm..*ish really tired* until 6+pm..lol..then online again...

Saturday, went out~ Where? Next time then i say.. In the afternoon, met up with Bohui...Lao po~~ Haha~ Long time no see...went shopping..*ish extremely tired* Slept on train.. Anyway, i'm not really the kind of person to shop for stuffs...i get really tired... Haha, it's always been like this since i was young... I would go to book store while my sis shop..lol, typical of me right? Those bookstore where they rent storybooks, or stationery shops or manga shops... I slept almost all the way from Marina Bay [we sat from Orchard to Marina so that there's seats..] to Jurong East... then we went IMM~ Daiso is an interesting place...haha^_____^ At least for me.. Haha~ Had fun with bohui though we were both exhausted..

Today...Mason outing^_____^ haha~ Actually we were supposed to go to Orchard[again~__~''] coz YaoLong's house wasn't available... in the end, we went to eat Bruch.. Only me, Isabel, Kelvin, PeiYing... Yesh, we were waiting for YongJoo~~~ Tsk..11 until 12++ [Haha, i was late^__^ 10 mins][Surprisingly Kelvin and PY were the earliest..lol~] Then me and Bel went for a walk around lot 1, waiting for Joo to reach cck.. We met up with Joo and eventually YaoLong then realised that he made a mistake and that we could actually go his house...Which reminds me... When we were going up the elevator at the MRT...

[Train's approaching, Masonites were on the elevator...]
Auntie: *tries to walk pass us, climbing up the elevator to catch the train..
YaoLong: *gives way* Auntie, Jia you~
Auntie: *after climbing till near the top* *turns around* *smiles sheepishly and points to one direction* Not my train...^_^
Masonites: *looks to the side* !!! Aiyah~ Our train ah~ *starts climbing up*
Auntie: Jia you hor~~ *smiles*

lol~ Oh manz...
Haha, we borrowed VCDs 'Shallow Hal', 'A Walk to Remember', 'How to lose a guy in 10 days'~ I didn't get to watch the last one as i left early..haha, sorrie masonites^__^ A Walk to Remember is as sweet as ever...still sad... Hmm..Yaolong's house's very nice for slacking wor...haha~ Feels really nice when we don't aren't pressurized to study...and can just take our time to do some stuffs...

Hmm..was thinking about Orientation today.. This is really the end of orientation...at least on our part... Showed them the video i had in my phone on Masonites' performance on the Kung Fu Hustle dance...haha...memorable... Well... Guess i'll have to keeps those orientation memories for now..concentrate on studies~

Masonites~ You made a difference in my life~
Shawn.MeiQi.Isabel.JunJie.Isabella.YongJoo.SingYee.YaoLong.Kelvin.Peiying... Love you all lots^__^

Fell in love with an angel 09:28 p.m.Sunday, March 27, 2005

2 more papers~

Don't even know what i'm doing today... I mean for the whole day [including the econs paper]...

Didn't finish...left one whole qns blank...has no intention of finishing it... First thing.. I nearly slept through the first 10 mins of the paper... Half sleep i guess... Second... The paper was difficult [at least to me..] Third... I seriously have no idea how to do the last question..coz i didn't study that part...

I'm soo going to die for Econs... Usually my writing speed allows me to complete 2 and 1/4 qns with kinda* quality answer that allows me to pass... But this time, my other 2 questoins are basically crap, and after listening to what Jenn Yang said about the equilibrium..Oh shit... I'm sooo going to flunk this paper...

Not in the mood~ Ja ne~

Fell in love with an angel 07:32 p.m.Tuesday, March 22, 2005

~_____~

Procrastinating...

Monopoly, NIA and NID to go.... I'm dead...lol...

*imagines what teacher will say about 'goal-setting'..
With my writing speed.... i hope i can pass...

Speaking of 'hope'.. It's 'Estel' in Elvish...

Something extra..^___^ Well, my LOTR craze will forever be there i guess... If it's possible, i would really learn Elvish...a very nice language... Anyway, Tolkien DID create the whole language of Elvish... [Em...he created the whole world including the language in his books...]

Beware..LOTR pic spam after CT...
I will be back~

ECONS*________*~

Fell in love with an angel 09:48 p.m.Monday, March 21, 2005

Shuui~

You Are 40% Normal (Somewhat Normal)

While some of your behavior is quite normal... Other things you do are downright strange You've got a little of your freak going on But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

How Normal Are You?

You Will Die at Age 67

67 You're pretty average when it comes to how you live... And how you'll die as well.

What Age Will You Die?

Fell in love with an angel 12:26 p.m.Sunday, March 20, 2005

... [Part II]

Anyway, what's with the "Aiyah, take photo together, sooner or later will be boy or girlfriends~"

I mean there it writes "We are only GOOD friends".. What's with the mindset? If they expect every GOOD GUY friend of mine is gonna be in a relationship with me, I can just say that it's just plain dumb...~__~ So what if this time my cousin's good friend really became his stead... Doesn't apply to all... Haiz, nothing to say le~ I give up...

Fell in love with an angel 11:18 a.m.Saturday, March 19, 2005

....

YiKai, if you are reading this...Sorry hor...i mean no offence...

*ish extremely dotted* Oh manz, can adults/parents not be soo childish..? I mean so what if my cousin[same age] changed his girlfriend... So what if he wrote all those words in friendster on her...

"Ying, read out what he say leh.."

I mean read out for what...1. It's too mushy 2. Read out so that you can call relatives and laugh about it?
This is soo damn childish... Oh manz.. Now she bu shuang that i did not read it out to her... But this is super dotting lah... I mean what's with poeple having gf or bf..? The last time my cousin put a photo of him and his gf, with some very sweet chinese words... It's normal what? What's with my mum and aunt calling and laughing and commenting about the 2 of them hugging and those words? This is soo damn Childish... Now she's complaining to my sis about me...but i know my sis feels the same way... I'm damn dotted... I guess my sis is right... Her bf will never get pass my mum's standards... Who says she allow any in the first palce... Just my great aunt's family alone can be our example... Duh~ Whether my cousin[female] has a friend who looks like a guy, cut butch hairstyle doesn't mean anything... What's with parents bad-mouthing [no, not gossiping] about that friend when they know nothing about her? What's with them? I'm dotted...

"You wanna know then ask Yikai to read it out to you... i won't do that..."

Ya..i'm actually quite dotted... oh well... They will never understand... For a moment i just wanted to side my cousin though he IS quite a hua hua gong zi...Haiz..nothing to say...

Doze off yesterday... too tired...way behind time and i doubt i can finish... Haiz... Time seems to fly really quickly, but nothing ish done.. such a slow,pain-staking process... Will be going library...Can't study at home... Haiz~

And yesh, i know i'm not speaking in proper English...so just let me be... Haiz, still complaining about me... Hmm..i'll bet my head on it~ She'll definately say, "Just like him".. "You're one of a kind"... And i wondered... How come not your kind but his kind? Don't always refer me to him... The more you do, the more i can't stand myself...

Saaa, maybe going to the library is a good choice after all...

Fell in love with an angel 10:50 a.m.Saturday, March 19, 2005

Oh manz~
Michael Flatley~ He rox~ Creator of Lord of the Dance and Fleet of Flames.. Damn nice... Just watched the documentry on him.. I'm sooo gonna watch Lord of The Dance when it's here in Singapore... But the tickets quite ex...~__~ Gotta save... Haha, this song is very memorable for kranjians wor, especially for our batch and 2c-ians... Our folk dance song... And PJ band.. oh well...

Lol~ Let me leave singapore for a while.. mentally... I love the different cultures and tribes outside*__* I love chinese culture too..[in case anyone's wondering..] Singapore's missing out lotsa Chinese culture... The 'shi er ling gu' is started by Singapore...in the end, the culture was lost in Singapore..~__~ *sweats* And... There's a documentary on Wolf Pack~ *beams* One of my favourite animals~ *dies of happiness* Reminds me..haha, leader, the alpha male~ Wolves~ ^_______________^= So cool..Okie, i really seldom touch the tv..and i'm watching documentaries*__* Wolves~ haha...I remembered, when i asked my mum, 'What animals would you like to have in the house if there's no restriction?' She said 'horse'~ coz she loves horses^_____^.. Eh? Me? I would have...
1. Siberian tigers~
2. Wolves~
3. Foxes~
I have a feeling that i left afew of them out..~__~ I remembered there's one more..[except birds of prey] For birds of prey, i love them to much to keep at home... Hmm..maybe the typical, home-kind.. barn owl...*_______* Okie, so i shouldn't be living in Singapore...I knew it! lol~ Sorry, let me be lost for a while... Hmm...You need Bio to be a zoologist right? Tsk.. Anyway, it ain't that simple and there are unpleasant things...but interest ish important~

Oh well, let me settle with bird watching in Singapore... more realistic...^^;;;; Anyway, i've seen a snowy owl on the railing of my corridoor...what cannot be possible? [Yesh, it's true... I mean pure, snow-white, snowy owl...in bright daylight..in singapore~]

Fell in love with an angel 12:13 a.m.Thursday, March 17, 2005

Tadaima~

It's actually ain't that bad~ Fun~ Hmm...realised that it might be better to take it slow rather than intensive... But that's when i have time... Mid-years ba~^_____^

It's really nice to be out for fresh air~ [at least for me..]

Okie, I have Monopolistic competition, Oligopoly, Monopoly, NIA and NID... I'll see what i can finish before i sleep... hopefully complete NIA~ Ganbatte!!!

Fell in love with an angel 09:51 p.m.Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Rantings~

Half an hour, and i've gotta go study... Half an hour, Shuui~

First things first...NANI?! Today's White Valentine's? *pokes xiaohui* You sure? If so...*pokes again* Lao gong*____* I want prezzie~ [Everyone:*sweatdrops*] lol~ Kidding lah~

Second, hmm...before any misunderstanding pops up, let me make clear that the 'him' i refer to in the previous previous entry is someone from my secondary school... yup^___^ Hm..not in PJ one lah~ *Dies* Lol~ My sec school friends will know who... But none of them knew much, coz i never tell anyone anything... as in where we went or anything... So ya.. Memories lah... Hmm... anyway, i never regretted meeting him or anyone in my secondary school~ So many people... Of course there's Loh Yun~ My tudi, kelvin, all the 2c bunch, my 12 angels...Aiy, so many... Yes, chaorui..I remembered me, loh yun and zhixin used to just sit there and listen to you sing..*grins* Mian cun lao pa~ Aiya, too many le lah... I never regretted knowing Damian...^__^ after he left school, i'm still reminded..haha..i remembered he helped me in a chem test before..and no kidding, he's chem is actually better than mine...[because.......our chem teacher is the pretty pretty ms tan~ lol~][And yesh, she's teaching in PJ but not our batch...] I remembered Saraswati wor...During my sec3 days, i used to sit beside her.. And i remembered her birthday..even until now... coz she told me before... I actually wanted to wish her happy birthday on her birthday in sec 4...but she was away..court case if i'm not wrong.. But i remembered leh...^___^ She's actually ain't that bad...it was actually fun talking to her...you'll understand her better...I digress~~~ Yup, but that's what i wanna clarify~

Ranting~~~
Just heard a S.H.E song.. with the music of Britney spears' 'Everytime'... I'm no fan of Britney but DUH~~~ Can they please stop copying english songs? That's what really makes me hate chinese songs... No originality at all... I know chinese song lovers always hate me for saying this...but this is so true lor... celest's new single...is Jewel's "Stand"...Why not English songs copying chinese songs? Duh~ Jewel writes her own songs, there's no way it's the other way round right.. So many case..~__~ And it's really fustrating.. B.A.D singing Blue's "All Rise" and they changed the 'All rise' to 'All right'...~___~ What is this?! Anyway, this dislike started when "Purest of Pain" by 'Son by Four' is being sang in the chinese version.. and the thing that actually matters, is that these singers act like as if it's their songs and gained fame from them...This is the part i hate.. English singers will sing [re-sing] old songs and songs of another language that they created themselves...It's just the same singer, singing the same song, but in spanish, latin and english version... originality... What's happening to the Chinese songs industry? Seriously, i don't understand...they don't have enough song writers or something? Everything is exactly the same...except the lyrics..but duh, even the 'Ahhh' part, they have to do it exactly the same...Tsk.. Anyway, not just english songs... Japanese songs... For example, Kiroro's songs... [I forgot the song names..~__~''] I've heard an S.H.E one and a Celest one... Why can't they be original~~~ Kiroro create their own music wor, and it's damn nice^__^ It kinda ruin everything... Hmm..maybe i'm over-reacting or something..but sometimes it's kinda over-kill ne? I used to listen to Chinese songs...and i still appreciate them..as long as it's their own songs as in created in the chinese industry and for the chinese industry...that's fine..Okie, i'm done... Though it seems unbelievable to many that i prefer English drama to Chinese drama..I look like a very cheena person...[lol~]But in terms of media, i prefer English culture..yup.. Chinese songs supporters, if you're not happy, come and shoot me... And before you do that..do some research..
*Grins* Or else i will.....
[Quoted from Ms Kumar]
"Kill you with logic"!

lol~ Hm...10 mins left...
Anyway, i'll end of with Jewel's 'Stand'...Meaningful lyrics~ Hmm..but one of Jewel's best song is 'Foolish games'.. Hidden meaning and kinda poetry-ish... And one last thing...Shoutout!! Anyone have the mp3 for the song Lene Marlin's 'Unforgivable sinner'? [Lyrics down there~]

JEWEL
"Stand"

Walk in a corner shop
See a shoplifting cop
See the old lady with a gun
See the hero try to run
Nothing's what it seems, I mean
It's not all dirty, but it's not all clean
There's children paying bills
There's monks buying thrills
There's pride for sale in magazines
There's pills for rent to make you clean
Marvin Gaye, there's no brother, brother
Woody Guthrie's land can't feed Mother
[CHORUS]
Mothers weep, children sleep
So much violence ends in silence
It's a shame there's no one to blame
For all the pain that life brings
If you will just take me It might just complete me
And together we can make a stand

A waitress brings me lunch
We meet but do not touch
On TV, D.C. is selling lies
While in the corner, King's dream dies
Go to the counter, pay for me and my friend
A homeless man pulls out a roll, says it's on him
The mayor has no cash
He said he spent it on hookers and hash

[CHORUS]

LENE MARLIN
"Unforgivable Sinner"
Album: Playing My Game

Kinda love your sense of time
Cos the days no matter no more
Or the feelings that you hide
Gonna tear you up inside

You know she hopes you tried

Follows you around all day
And you wake up soaking wet
Cos between this world and eternity
There is a face you hope to see

You know where you sent her
You should know where you are
You're trying to ease off
But you know you won't get far
And now she's up there
Sings like an angel
But you can't hear those words
And now she'd up there
Sings like an angel
Unforgivable sinner

You've been walking around in tears
No answers are there to get
You won't ever be the same
Someone cries and you're to blame

Struggling with a fight inside
Sorrow you'll defeat
The picture you see
It won't dissapear
Not unpleasant mdream
Or the voice you hear

You know where you sent her
You should know where you are
You're trying to ease off
But you know you won't get far
And now she's up there
Sings like an angel
But you can't hear those words
And now she'd up there
Sings like an angel
Unforgivable sinner

Bridge
Maybe one time lost
But now you're found
Stand right up before you hit the ground
Maybe one time lost
But now you're found
Stand right up before you hit the ground again

You know where you sent her
You should know where you are
You're trying to ease off
But you know you won't get far
And now she's up there
Sings like an angel
But you can't hear those words
And now she'd up there
Sings like an angel
Unforgivable sinner

Fell in love with an angel 03:18 p.m.Monday, March 14, 2005

Oh manz...

I give up! I really cannot concentrate at home...Will be going woodlands library this week really often... If you wanna join my then just sms me to check~

Fell in love with an angel 09:32 p.m.Sunday, March 13, 2005

Come back shuui~

Wait, no time...i need sleep... But must write this down first... Eh, today very memrable..lol, balloons and just the day itself~

A memorable day, which keeps reminding me of memorable things... First things first... The location is Clementi.. And oh manz~ It reminded me of a person in the past...And at that place, i remember the things tht he have done... And throughout the whole day, i'm reminded of him... [Okie, this actually started about an week ago...i have no idea why...] Clementi, Balloon, macdonalds, puzzle then i start to remember everything that he have done... One thing..Hmm..since last week, i really feel this way... I regretted... Really regretted all the things i have done before and something else... I've always regretted... since that day... but never That.. Never regretted my decision... but i did..i never thought i would regret.. but i did... And i wondered why? What's with that change? Okie, I really think i'm dumb... Really dumb... And fallen for the wrong person... This only happens twice...And i really think i made a mistake twice...[including this time] Why can't i appreciate? Somehow, i learnt more from you than anyone else... You've always been a very important person to me... But i never knew what kind of 'important' are you to me... I still don't know... weird right... I regretted.. Hmm...do you? I guess, it's better i not know and you not know...[I doubt you read my blog and thank god!] Ya.. thank you for all you have done for me...

Clementi also reminded me of my 1st OG~ lol...squatting/sitting outside coffee bean.. *thinks* The jaming sessions at Ezek's house... Hmm.. brings back memories wor~~ Lotsa of them...yupyup...

Hehe, today's Fun~ *coughs* all the ballons stuffs... okie, i never knew how to deal with ballons... [lol, he will know...] but it's fun~~~ Okie, i keep inside okie...usually it should be in my written diary but not..=P i'm lagging~

Before i go off, hey, gomen minna [sorry everyone] if i left you out or pang sei you all especially masonites... But ya, i keep neglecting people here and there... it's time i learn how to balance my life with different group of friends... Ya, will MIA and i hope i'm not acting very selfish like that... COmmon test..gonna piah~

Since, i cannot find my switch....

I need a temporary filter for my brains....

Guess, filter will only last 2 weeks before it overheats and blows up...

*grins* Oh well, that's the best i can get...

Ganbatte kudasai minnasan~ Let's all jia you together just for this 2 weeks~[for now]

*dies* *ish tired*

Fell in love with an angel 12:26 a.m.Sunday, March 13, 2005

!!!

I'm lazy, so i'll just reply to one comment..[=P Li chween~ I'll drop by your blog by this weekend~]

LAO GONG~~~~~ *________________* I miss ya~~~ *glomps xiaohui* Eh? Okie, i'm greedy...*grins* If me cosplay Jibrille/Gabriel, you wanna be lucifer or anyone from AS..*Coughs* Eh...cut hair? I wanna see whether it's possible to wear a short hair wig without cutting hair... Anyway, me will have to cut really short for Aoi next year... March holiday no time how to date? *__* lol~ i will continue to miss you...*pokes* you still gonna do GSeed cosplay?

MISS YA~

~Lao Po No.2
Shuuichi~ *hearts hearts*

P.S. *pokes* I got myself another lao gong in pj..*coughs* Update you next time... Don't worry, you're still my number 1...

[*re-reads* *shudders* Ew, so mushy*__*]

Fell in love with an angel 10:24 p.m.Wednesday, March 9, 2005

A little motivation for Shuuichi...
Yesh, i'm still lazy to find another host for my blog pic...*coughs* Anyway, i'm gonna shift my blog somewhere after common test...

*thinks* Shuui should be working hard for common test, but she's taking it slow... At least i know what i'm doing i guess... But i think i don't have enough time at this rate to complete my revision before common test.. but somehow, i'll continue it in my own pace... The last time i stressed myself, i forgot practically everything.. But i know i'll be ready by mid-year...even if it means one subject for each week during the 1 month holiday..not exactly intensive but spreading everything out..mayeb can have some breaks in between...

Studies ain't everything really~ But it's something we have to do and complete.. *thinks* Have always thought life is meaningless since sec2 wor... I mean, you study study, until uni, take a course that requires more study, and it's not even something i want...there isn't anything i want in uni...[except for one course] Somehow i realised that what i want can only be found in poly... But around my relatives, poly is not really a choice... [What do you expect from a family who psycho you since you are in primary school that you should go JC... You should see the extend they go...haha, it's extreme... you can ask me..] Oh well, too late... I mean life isn't really meaningful if you take a certain course because it's popular and that you have a future in this realistic singapore economy... If it's me...i'd rather choose something of my interest... I'd rather work hard, meet with problems and have a career of my interest.. I mean it's your interest~ Studying sorta kills interest... At least that's what i think.. I think all these theory stuffs are crap.. At this rate, i think i'm going out to society without knowing what kind of work there are... and slog? emm...earn money? You work everyday, doing the same things not because you have interest in doing it, but because you have to do it... What ish that all about?

But the little things to look forward^__^ I think everyone have to find their own little motivation... an interest would be good...if you don't have one, go find... really... Maybe the search can be interesting... At least the tiny things i wanna do after common test...
1. Do some catching up with my guitar...[yesh, before i go for kelvin's concert=P haha~]
2. I'm gonna borrow books on sewing...[Yesh, i'm gonna be a xian2 qi1 liang2 mu3~ *coughs* For cosplay lah!!]
3. I would re-design my blog and shift it to another place...
So shuui's gonna make sure that she give in her best, at the end of it all, decided that 'i did alright...' And can do these tiny things that she wants in order to make life more meaningful~ Lol... it helps...at least for me...So.. Ganbatte wor~

After A'levels... Shuui will...
1. Learn sewing and touch mum's old old sewing maching~ [lol~]
2. Attend course on manga drawing [*ish determined*]
3. Go Jurong Bird Park
4. Do housework... [Don't laugh!!]
5. Go work~ [For mum~ So that she won't need to sew clothes anymore...at least not for that period of time..]

Shuui have her own goals... Jia you ba... but what to do if i really get to uni..I don't know.. hmm... let's just make the best out of it now...
I can do it~

Okie, it doesn't really make sense but it does in my mind..^__^ i know can le~ Jia you ba~

Fell in love with an angel 08:24 p.m.Monday, March 7, 2005

Cosplay Project~

Yesh yesh, gonna go do my homework after i've updated my 'cosplay wishlist' lol~ Actually, there's actually more, but see how... just for fun^____^~ [And yesh, photobucket ain't really working so...well, i won't do anything about the blog pic yet...]

EOY 2005
Uchiha Itachi~ [Naruto]

If i have enough free time... I might be doing random Anbu this Cosfest..might~

Cosfest [June 2006]
Aoi Honou~ [Flame of Recca]

Haha, sorry, couldn't help it...so many pics~ There's more in my computer..emm..Aoi's a male...though he wears skirt.. Love him*___* Emm..But i love Tokiya more~~~~ Tokiya~ *squeals*

And yup, i've gotta cut short hair next year...but don't really have an idea how i would look like after haircut...tsk...
*Note to Hajime-chan* Spiral Cosplay gonna push backwards..either Bleach or Spiral would be at EOY 2006~

EOY 2006 [Unconfirmed]
Hiyono Yuizaki~ [Spiral]

EOY 2006 [Unconfirmed]
Shihouin Yoruichi~ [Bleach]

SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS~

Future cosplays

Either Youzen or Ryuukitsu Koushuu or Roushi aka Taijyouroukun or Fugen~ [Houshin Engi]

Youzen

Roushi aka Taijyouroukun [In chinese, you call him 'Tai shang lao jun~ lol~]

Ryuukitsu Koushuu

Fugen

Houshin Engi ROX~ [I mean Manga version...Youzen~ *__*]

Jibrille aka Gabriel [Angel Sanctuary]

With short hair...

The one sitting on chair... long hair version... I prefer the former one~

Suzaku [Yami no Matsuei]

Problem, the gigantic sword...^^;;; But my original intention was to do this next end of year... but i guess i'll postpone it...

Fenris Fenrir [Ragnarok~Into the abyss]

The one at the bottom left hand corner~

Uruviel [Lord of The Rings]

Costume in the process of making... Just not sure when i'll cosplay~

That's all....For now..=P~

Fell in love with an angel 10:20 p.m.Saturday, March 5, 2005

!!!
*dies*

OMG~ I've found Yuu Yuu Hakusho Anime downlaod~ *goes crazy* I know i'm slow but...

It's still my all-time favourtie~ Though the animation of the starting episodes aren't really that nice..but...

Kurama rox~

Fell in love with an angel 11:19 p.m.Friday, March 4, 2005

And...

here i am... listening to a song that will remind me of a person... And thoughts just left me... Tsk, angst-y feeling... Anyway, that song ain't a happy one... And i wondered... again...

Hm..gonna sell my mangas out.. will put the list here after some time... See how.. need to get back some money~

Angst~

Fell in love with an angel 10:27 p.m.Friday, March 4, 2005

Ganbatte Kudasai minnasan~

Oh well, nearer and nearer to common test... It gives me an impression that the week after the last day our common test week, is already our A'levels... It feels near... really near..

SGanime is gone for me... Haiz, nothing to say anymore... I miss the old times... I miss all the 'commoners' last time... So many... So fun... I'll list them out next time... And i wondered what happen... I miss TCSS~ I doubt anyone will know me in the future in TCSS...

Anyway, my breaking poing is last Friday... I believe since then, i've never recovered... [Yesh, people, beware of my temper nowadays..] So allow me to go crazy, dao people, and hope that i have not irritated many people so far... >___< I wanna draw...[Just bought colour pencils~~ ^____^=] I wanna draw... I wanna go doing some catching up with my guitar... I wanna read mangas... I wanna do everything except homework, go to school and studying, sit for tests... Okie, it's not gonna happen... I wanna be a recluse~ I wanna see grass, trees~ Eh... I wanna go Bird Park..lol.. [I think i saw a kite about 2 weeks ago in sembawang... from the wings-feather and tail pattern... kite = a type of bird.. I wanna study back on birds of prey and learn how to sew properly...lol... I wanna see my Lao Gong~~~~ [Number 1] Lol... Xiao hui~ i miss ya...

I guess many people's at their breaking point... And tend to do the things they want to..[even if it means breaking rules and just plain defience..] Can understand... Eh... Everyone jia you~~ But the thing about giving people advice... please think first... if you are in their shoes, what would you do...please don't just say that what the person do is dumb...~___~''' haiz, nvm about that...

Who needs a guiding light?

So far, the ones who responded[considered]: Me, Qi, Iris, Grace... Eh, alot of people me haven't ask yet... if want can respond... just wanna know who's feeling this way...tsk..

*ish lost*..

Fell in love with an angel 08:02 p.m.Wednesday, March 2, 2005

Bettah~

Yup, feeling better after a whole day to distractions and a good odse of manga...It's been really long since i last really sat down and read manga...

Saw something interesting...

Haha, while i was looking for my Trigo 9a notes..[which i still can't find...] i saw this note written on Kranji ss foolscap, and couldn't help but feel amused by it... Haha, it's written to my Lao Po..lol~ Something about AMaths...haha..will show her maybe when i see her in school ba...haha...

I proclaim this song as Shuui's song of the Month.. Haha..

"Boulevard of Broken Songs"

I think that's the name of the song...It consist a mixture of Greenday's "Boulevard of Broken Dreams", Oasis' "Wonderwall", "Writing to Reach You" by Travis and Eminem's "Sing[For the moment]" which samples Aerosmith's "Dream On".. Damn cool song..I guess you'll only get to hear it on the radio...or download it from here~ or here~ *goes crazy* My fav song~~

Couldn't find the lyrics for that song... so...i'll just have to compile the lyrics instead~~

"Boulevard Of Broken Songs"

[Green day]
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

[Oasis]
Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you

[Green day]
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

[Oasis]
By now you should've somehow
Realised what you gotta do

[Green day]
I walk alone
I walk alone

[Oasis]
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do...
(I walk alone)
About you now..
(I walk a...)

[Green day]
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

[Travis]
Every day I wake up and it's Sunday
(Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah)
Whatever's in my eye wont go away
(Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah)
The radio is playing all the usual
(Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah)
And what's a wonderwall anyway
(Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah)

[Oasis]
Backbeat the word is on the street
(Ah-ah, Ah-ah)
That the fire in your heart is out
(Ah-ah, Aaah-ah)
I'm sure you've heard it all before
(Ah-ah, Ah-ah)
But you never really had a doubt
(Ah-ah, Aaah-ah)
I don't believe that anybody feels
(Ah-ah, Ah-ah)
The way I do about you now
(Ah-ah, Aaah-ah)

[Green day]
I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

[Oasis]
Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you

[Green day]
Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

[Oasis]
Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you

[Green day]
I walk alone
I walk alone

[Oasis]
By now you should've somehow
Realised what you gotta do

[Green day]
I walk alone
I walk a...

[Oasis]
And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
But I don't know how

[Green day]
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams

[Oasis]
Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you

[Green day]
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams

[Oasis]
By now you should've somehow
Realised what you gotta do

[Green day]
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

[Green day]
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

[Oasis][At the same time]
I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after all
You re my wonderwall
I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after all
You're my wonderwall
I said maybe
Your gonna be the one that saves me
Your gonna be the one that saves me
Your gonna be the one that saves me

[Eminem]
Sing with me (sing),
sing for the years (Sing it),
sing for the laughter, sing for the tears, {c'mon)
Sing it with me, just for today, maybe tomorrow the good
Lord will take you away...

This took really quite awhile..anyway, i can't hear clearly the last chorus...that's the most i can catch... yup...Argh, i think i'm down with a flu...~__~ feels terrible...ja~

Fell in love with an angel 06:29 p.m.Saturday, February 26, 2005

Point..
What's the point of editing that entry 5 times and still....Tsk, and get it deleted in the end? [Emm...not refering to the previous entry..]

Anyway, point taken..

Whatever~~~~

Fell in love with an angel 11:52 p.m.Friday, February 25, 2005

A mistake...

Still wondering whether to delete it... But this is my blog..i'll write what i want to say... So much... So much i wanna say...I snapped on Thursday after the Chemistry test... Don't feel like saying it.. Lack of Sleep + Troubled Mind + Stress ain't helping at all.. If there's a chance, i think i'll go find my favourite spot, sit and just think...It seemed silly of me to tear becoz of a test... but kinda more than that... One thing is when you knew how to answer the question, you knew you have not only studied but also memorised the stuffs...yet you can't write it out... Considering the time and effort put in.. And it's for the whole paper... ...Anyway, i don't expect myself to last long... But i thought i could last till the weekends come...Just when i thought yesterday was bad... I guess today's worse... At least a certain part of the day... Just that few hours, i'm feeling worse than what i felt on Thursday~_~

Misunderstood as i knew i would... Hmm.. They won't understand i guess... Why should they care...or maybe even if we do say...will we get a "so what" as an answer... And so thought.. Ya, wrote something before after realising that another friend feels the same... Is it because it's important to us that's why we are affected? In your case, i know why.. And i wondered... I feel like quite a fool... lol... Oh well, like i told her...i actually wanted to write an entry on being an introvert, yet i still mix around..And that entry is for someone in my class... But i couldn't find the right time to write it out, coz i need to get a message across, so i didn't write it... Now i kinda regretted..Oh well, what's done is done... I refuse to say anything that we have discussed here... I hope i can write these all down in my written diary... but nah, i don't want to think about it again... *Ish dotted* Passive? I think that's not the point...Haiz... Hey girl, i give ya strength...*huggles* Don't think too much... But i think in this case...It's not our fault..[At least i don't think so...on our part..] *huggles somemore*

Fell in love with an angel 11:23 p.m.Friday, February 25, 2005

Tsk...

Yesh, i know...Chemistry.. You don't have to remind me..i'll go study the minute i finish this... Hmm...accidently scalded my fingers with boiling water.. *coughs* It isn't pure water so it's not 100 degree celsius..[i hope..~_~]

Anyway, just some thoughts... When there are 2 cliques -A and B.. And both cliques aren't familar and don't really know each other.. The worst thing to do ish to divide a line clearly between the 2 cliques, say inside jokes and stay with one clique... Is that how everyone feels? [Does not imply to anyone in particular.. Just thought about it...]

I don't really know what exactly happened..but heard.. Can see that happening.. situation's changing.. somehow it's kinda sad if we drift away from a group because we feel quite out.. doesn't seem possible in the past.. but i guess it's more and more obvious now... Qi ain't really comfortable around a certain person...that i know.. But i guess she do feel relieved ba..maybe a little bit... Tsk, maybe we should try the trip to delifrance... haha, it was fun... *ish kinda reluctant* Eh...guess there won't be much chance in the future...will we become just those 'hi-bye' friends? Hmm...i wondered..

Haha, i know i sound very attitude.. pardon me k? I'm not in the best of moods...And i'm seriously starting to feel like i'm having spilt personality... pseudo-personality? I'm not sure... Was taking the train alone today~ Gave some time for thoughts..Well, i remembered telling zixuan that i'm closer with my band clique than with the class girls..coz our class used to be really dispersed.. And now i thought... I feel happy and contented around my classmates now~ Much better^_______^ Somehow, i seemed to be spending more time with my classmates [girls] and masonites rather than band mates...And i wondered why... Is it me? I really wonder why...

No offence hor... Attitude...~__~ I hate myself now... feels fake..hmm.. Everybody's changing... And I don't feel the same...

Fell in love with an angel 08:39 p.m.Wednesday, February 23, 2005

A quick note...

Okie, i just scanned through Kelvin's blog.. lol.. Manz, i missed talking to ya.. *thinks* Okie, good or bad idea? We would start bickering the next minute.. [You know..it might be good..coz that's what we used to do in the past...]

*grins* Actually i wanted to blog something regarding ya.. Just suddenly thought of ya in school..[Don't ask me why...it just happens~] Then i went to read your blog just now... lol, feels very tempted to type out some of the stuffs that i thought about in school...

Hey, not 180 degrees, i would say 360 degrees difference... You're a thinker too..But i wondered why we are so different? ...Actually i was wrong to make you understand in the past.. Haha, understood that some time ago, but nah, don't want to think about it...I'll continue this entry the next time...

MATHS HOMEWORK >______________< ARGHHH~~~ *killed lotsa braincells*

Fell in love with an angel 11:48 p.m.Monday, February 21, 2005

Interesting~

Summary of Counsellors

Search for meaning in their life and develop powerful insights
Are dedicated to helping others reach their potential
Think of themselves as gentle, peaceable and cautious
Others may find it difficult to get to know them

More about Counsellors

Counsellors have a natural understanding of human relationships and the complexities of life, which they use to help others. They search for meaning in everything and develop complex insights.

Counsellors are least likely to describe themselves as atheists, according to a UK survey.
Counsellors feel most relaxed and creative when their surroundings are organised. They are deeply private people who only share their insights with trusted friends; however, they will defend their values if challenged.

In situations where they can't use their talents or are unappreciated, Counsellors may withdraw from the people around them or become resentful. Under extreme stress, Counsellors may feel overwhelmed and be driven to organise small parts of their lives such as their kitchen cabinets or their record collection.

Counsellors typically prefer a few close relationships to a wide circle of friends.

Counsellor Careers

Counsellors are often drawn to jobs where they can help people develop emotionally, intellectually or spiritually and where they can use their imagination.

What are you like?

Fell in love with an angel 11:36 p.m.Wednesday, February 16, 2005

^-^

Happy Valentine's Day minna-san~

*ish super tired* I really wanna sleep but i haven't finish my homework...really feel like collapsing now..~___~ I'm soo blur the whole day...

Special Column
Thankies to those who gave me prezzies, flowers and all...
Especially Yingyi, Wanting, Phyllis, Jason~ 04s16 guys~ [including the cookies] 05s11~ Masonites~ Tremendous 12~
[I hope i never miss out anyone...*__*]

Which reminds me... Sorrie wor, if the gift too girlish~ Haha~ *hides* Last minute and budget~ *hides* Haha... Oie, but must appreciate leh~~~~ And sorrie wor, coz i really really very budget so i can't get anything much for our class guys...*hides* Haha~ Actually i want to get for alot more people... But i really overspent... Really need to start saving for the costume..if not i'll die a horrible death...haha...

Tsk tsk, the entry's getting serious from this point onwards wor... so if don't wanna read, please skip~ This section consist of all the thoughts these 3 days in simplified and filtered manner.. Jumbled up~ All about herself..And things most don't care..

Haha, gomen~ Coz i kept drifting away today~ Just in thoughts today...and really wanted to finish my thoughts..lol..[though its never ending...] Actually i thought of lotsa things about 2 nights ago... really wanted to write it down but it's 2+am in the morning and there's school.. Why thinking at 2+am? Haha... I've been thinking about it since 11+pm that night..*grins* Typical of me~ Don't be too surprised... And i finally got the answer i want at around 2+am..as close as i can get^__^ But...i forgot what is it that i thought about... But the thing is.. it's part of me that i accept le wor...So the answer will come naturally to me next time.. [*coughs* Don't understand right? ^^;;] Manz, really wanted to write out all the stuffs...but too many..and it can't be written in proper sentence.. well, maybe a mindmap will do the trick... coz when you think of something.. more things just pops out.. Okie i'm blabbering..

Today, a friend who read my blog came over..haha, she agrees with what i think about relationship [love] and how i deal with it... Same frequency leh~ That's super rare lor.. I mean, it's soo common... "Zhi yao ta kai xin jiu hao le.." [Direct translation: I'll be contented as long as he is happy...] But do you really get the meaning? *thinks* You can agree with it and yet not act on it.. But i ain't lying... That's what we[me and friend] really think.. And i'm not trying to say that we are very wei3 da4...For i do get ridiculed because of it.. Someone asked.. Why does it comes so naturally to me.. She can't do that... Haha.. Because it's something i really want.. that's why i can do it.. Same theory.. For example, you are a 'i-love-him-and-i-must-have-him' person, you would go all out because it is what you really want.. Same here^-^ Just what we want are different things..

Old question. If you are given a choice...would you choose..?
1. To be together with a person who loves you more than you do
2. To be together with a person whom you love more than he does
[Kinda broken english i know...not in right state of mind..]

Heh, I would choose 2... Foolish? I don't think so leh.. In fact.. I think it's selfish in a sense...Haha, not really...but a little... How? Hmm...can't really explain~

Wondered who would understand what i have just said so far..

It happens that the topic for my brains today ish love..lol~ Nope, i'm not troubled.. [Trust me..that's how my brains work..] Just thinking through about all these stuffs... It seems quite bei1 in some sense to always mo mo shou hou wor... But you are the one who chooses to view it that way... You can be happy if you want^__^

Sometimes i really think i have too many personalities.. I am not sure which one is me... A combination? But i guess i am still the quiet me..somewhere deep inside.. Someone you don't see anymore, at least nowadays... The girl who always hides and take a step back.. One who always replays her life over and over in her mind.. Pessimistic.. Sometimes i really think that people who think alot, are the ones who really needs a guiding light... True? I admit that...I guess you'll never get why i'll be an OGL.. I'll let you decide yourself if you wanna guess.. But i know i'll be misunderstood...

Friends~ Love everyone of them... Like i always always said.. I dislike changes wor^__^ And i treasure my friends very much.. I can never really get too comfortable around people.. It takes alot alot of time for me to act naturally around you..and catch your frequency.. but i do try.. the mask is something that just appears..not controlled..I may even just ignore you..as i really don't know what to say.. Really treasured friends whom i can just talk and chat... especially keep quiet, without the silence being too awkard.. I like space..coz i think alot.. It's hard to find friends who can allow you to feel comfortable when there's silence.. haha.. Okie i rephrase.. In a sense that you can draw comfort from silence, when both of ya aren't talking..^__^ Well, at least for me.. [Some of my friends may know.. i've found a person whom i can draw comfort from at times... But people always mis-read our relationship and i don't understand why..Don't think wai1..I also can't explain it.. i'll think about it next time... I'm rather surprised too.. coz he ain't always the best person to be around and people think he's a flirt..lol..i ahve my own opinion though..but that's another thing...] [lol, this description fits 2 person around me, yet both of them are soo different...haha~ Not gonna say who..lol~] If you think i've forgotten any one of you..think again.. Coz i still miss Ranma, Chiro, Yoshiko, Aki-neechan and the rest..how many years? Since sec2..ya.. Though i may not know what to say at times, maybe 1 or 2 years later when i see ya... doesn't mean i don't treat you as my friend, not as much as i do now.. Wrong lah~ I hope that when i see ya all in the future, though feeling might be different...i hope we still treat each other the same way... Haha, coz i hate changes..Haha, it'll sound really cocky and rude... but lets phrase it this way, what i really really really think..Haha~...

If you are my friend...
But it happens that,
I have fallen for you,
or you have feelings for me...
Either way...
I would rather you treat me the way as you always do...
The usual way, that makes me feel that worthy of being your friend...
Vice versa~
So that i would feel that you are worthy of being my friend...

If you are my friend...
Seperated by time and space,
Meeting again on faithful day...
Awkard or not...
Either way...
I would rather you treat me the way as you always do...
The usual way, that makes me feel that worthy of being your friend...
Vice versa~
So that i would feel that you are worthy of being my friend...

If you are my friend...
Due to some reasons,
And we quarrelled one day...
Misunderstandings or not...
Either way...
I would rather you still treat me the way as you always do...
The usual way, that makes me feel that worthy of being your friend...
Vice versa~
So that i would feel that you are worthy of being my friend...

Not very realistic ba.. hmm.. it depends.. really... But right now.. that's what i really hope for.. Coz anything more or less than the 'usual way', will make me more troubled ba...[Haha, told you i dislike changes..okie, let's just say i hate it..haha..] But never angry...coz it's actually too much to ask for.. how selfish ne? Hmm, there's more to say..But i've been spending 1 and 1/2 hrs on this entry instead of my homework.. Need to get thoughts off my brains...prepared to see a panda in school tomorrow... Haha... What is it i really want? Why i'm writing all this? Or even thinking about it.. I've gotten the answer for myself..at least i think so... Have you? [Haha, it's actually very obvious...tsk tsk..albeit not visible...][Irony? Paradox?][Hmm...]

[I'm scaring people off again, am i? Sigh..I told you i'm weird...]

Fell in love with an angel 10:56 p.m.Monday, February 14, 2005

*grins*

I need to do homework!!! *_________________* *didn't succeed in finishing her homework during CNY* In fact, i didn't get to start.. tsk...coz i keep moving off from one home to another...oh well, I gotta finish them this weekend~ Ganbatte~~

Eto, chotto, my weekend schedule is packed... Saturday confirm going to Sagara-chan's house... *_____* ....Homework how?!

Haha, finally got to gamble this CNY~~~~~~~ It's been..*counts* sooo long since our relatives gambled on CNY... *coughs* coz my third uncle is always with us... Lol, the moment he stepped out of the house, we started blackjack... 'Ban luck'~ [Spelling?] *coughs* I believed one of my uncles lost more than 0.. I lost ... [I am sooo unlucky today...*_______* Things would be better if we played Dai dee^__~ *grins*] My sis won ~ One of my cousin won *__*;;; At least i got a ban-luck [10 & ace] and a ban-ban [2 ace] once~

Oh, my sis and i were chatting about our relatives... As in... 1. You'll never get a question on...'Have you gotten a boyfriend?' *coughs* This shows how things are supposed to be in our family... tsk... *thinks* My prediction is that maybe i'm not supposed to have a boyfriend until i'm 22...My guess... Anyway, it doesn't really matter to me^__~ Haha~

I know i'm speaking in really broken english.. tsk tsk... Aiya, never mind lah~ Anyway, i'm gonna try out livejournal really soon... Most likely will be using that...See how... I NEED PHOTOSHOP~~~

Fell in love with an angel 10:20 p.m.Thursday, February 10, 2005

Personality~

What Samurai 7 Character Are You?
Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.

Shuui didn't manage to download Photoshop~ It's lagging..The computer i mean..tsk..

Fell in love with an angel 11:26 p.m.Tuesday, February 8, 2005

Shuui~

Shuui is bored~ *__________* Haha, ish in grandma's house and Shuui ish bored~~~ Anyway, i'm supposed to 'accidentally' download Photoshop into my cousin's computer and start editing the pics for my blog layout... but this computah, ish super super laggy~ *pulls hair* Anou..~_~

Anyway, i'm supposed to go to my secondary school, meet the Masonites for outing...[*coughs* In search for shawn's cny clothes~], or have breakfast/lunch with Sagara-chan then meet Inova to return him the evenstar pendent, then go to my grandma's house~ But i only did the last 2... Well, mainly cause me aren't supposed to be going out... long story.....

Heh heh, Shuui is blabbering... More coming later~ *grins*
[I missed writing like this~ Haha, i used to write like that...*points to last year's entries* So animated and so kiddy..haha..]

Ja ne~ Shuui off to 'accidentally' download Photoshop^__~

Fell in love with an angel 04:38 p.m.Saturday, February 5, 2005

Someone tell meh~~~

Should i use Diary-x or Livejournal? ?___?

I've shifted my entries to diary-x already... But i don't think i have time for a layout leh... tsk.. But i already have in mind what to do le...

Saw lotsa icons wor~ LOTRs and Viggo's icons... *___* Which can only be useful for Livejournal leh... Live journal...how to link friends? ?__? I can only link when my friends are using it right?

*coughs* I think i go sign up see see how...

If i have photoshop, i'll definately be using diary-x... i think... tsk.. how indecisive...

Fell in love with an angel 02:14 p.m.Tuesday, February 8, 2005

Matters~

Haha, actually, i typed a really long entry about what i feel about him, how it changes from the starting of the year to now... But... too private..haah, can... Actually i don't mind showing it out... Coz maybe i just want people to get it.. Yup~ That's what a blog is for...to a certain extent... I told wanqi before... You write those entries in blog... usually you will include those stuffs that you would never say to others, or at least most peope... yet, you want them to know... So when one reads these entries, it is coz i want you all to know, or because i wanna write it out, that's why it's in here... If you read something about a person's problem or something, don't still kaypo and go ask... Coz the person would have written it if he/she wants you to know about that aspect of his/her life... So...Don't probe...

I didn't post out what i wrote... coz i don't want...afew people to see... Haha, who? I won't say... *grins*.. To simplify... [which aren't short...]

Things are quite different now.. Just the word 'friends' can bring out the difference... Hmm... It used to be those kind of 'like'...like when he criticise something about you, you undergo serious depression... And when you get to spend moments with that person, you cannot stop smiling when you think back about it... It used to be like that...The person affects everything you do or how you react to things... It seemed rather ....artifical to me now...Haha, i couldn't really explain...

Things are different when 2 person actually became friends.. Things are so much different, at least to me... It's no longer those teenage-going-gaga-over-a-person kind of thing... it's where you really start to...see another side of the person, really get to know more about him, actually start to respect him as an individual...can't really explain... At this point, you would realise that 'friendship' between you and him is far more important than a 'relationship'...

I don't need a relationship now.. i don't think anytime soon.. I'm never a person who's into relationship.. Haha, i always tell people, i can't help liking someone... if that feeling is returned, then i would prefer if both of us stay in a situation of 'together' instead of a status of 'stead' or 'gf/bf'... Maybe to me, it's very dan1 chun2.. Together is those very simple kind of life... Zai4 yi1 qi3, kai1 kai1 xin1 xin1.. Must be my brains... Zixuan asked me before.."You don't seem affected by him..." It's a statement, not really a question... That's so true... That's how i deal with things... i'm not sure what exactly is going on... i think i've buried the feelings somewhere deep inside.. I cherish friendship more than anything else.. for i don't need a relationship..why bother making yourself unhappy? I'm selfish and i want to choose the easier way out... If i keep holding on to it... My brains will only think.."what if i did that?", "why is it ...?" I don't regret... coz i think it's for the best^____^ And i'm happy and contented with the way things is... Just thinking.. zhi yao ta kai xin jiu hao... really...Maybe it's because i always divide the line between 'friends' and 'more than friends' clearly... really clearly... In this sense, it's a mixture... no line, at least not really... hmm... doesn't really make sense right? Haha... nvm, i think i understand more now...

Gacked this from Elson~

You scored as Intrapersonal. You prefer your own inner world, you like to be alone, and you are aware of your own strengths, weaknesses, and feelings. You learn best by engaging in independent study projects rather than working on group projects. People like you include entrepreneurs, philosophers and psychologists.

Intrapersonal

82%

Musical/Rhythmic

79%

Verbal/Linguistic

75%

Interpersonal

64%

Visual/Spatial

57%

Logical/Mathematical

46%

Bodily/Kinesthetic

43%

The Rogers Indicator of Multiple Intelligences
created with QuizFarm.com

Quite true for meh~ Psychologist? Lol, actually that's my aim..What i wanna learn at least..Psychology..Really... emm..but will i go crazy? Then forever i'll be doing the 'see through' thingy and scare everyone away.. I believe my talent is in this aspect...I really think so.. but that doesn't mean i'm good..haha, coz i never make full use of it...Maybe, haha~ one day~ Hmm...*looks at other options* I love music, and it affects me... But i don't think i have talent for it...*coughs* But i do work hard...haha, i need to have my confidence back~~ I'm better in expressing myself through writing than verbally... At least as far as my standard of english can guide me~ =P~ The rest you decide~

Fell in love with an angel 11:33 p.m.Monday, February 7, 2005

lol~

You scored as Both. You're a 50/50 person! You are balanced and are a rare one.

Both

67%

Female

58%

Male

33%

Male or female?
created with QuizFarm.com

LOL~ What can i say? haha~ *grins*

Replies in the guestbook~ Long time no reply le~
[Edited] HTML of the quiz~ Edited~

Fell in love with an angel 09:37 p.m.Saturday, February 5, 2005

What is....

Shuui ain't sure
Shuui is never really sure
Maybe subconciously Shuui knows the answer

Hmm, just one question....
And it disrupts her every train of thought
Every one of them...

Though it has nothing to do with Shuui
At least not directly
Shuui is disturbed,
Disturbed by changes going on...
Or changes that are going to happen...

Come on, it's unstoppable
That is a fact
But Shuuichi dislike changes so much
Much more than she ever had...
So far...

Maybe someone could tell Shuui what is going on
Shuui wants to know
Shuui don't want to know
Why do people's feelings gotta destroy relationships?
Because relationship comes from feelings?

Tsk...
Paradox,
Irony,
or
Contradiction?

It ain't helping Shuui
Not at all...
Shuui needs help
Can't think
Because Shuui has been thinking too much...

Tsk...
Paradox
Or Irony?

This is what too much G.P lessons can do to ya...
Is it?

Steewpid thoughts...Shuui can't help but got disturbed by them...how dotting...Maybe is because he started it... forget it...shuui's gonna stop mixing around in the forum...haha...doesn't help the tired mind~ Somethings are bound to go wrong...Hmm..? Why did i write the previous sentence? It wasn't supposed to be there... Subconciously? Things are not right when singying starts speaking in 'shuui' instead of 'me' or 'i' and writing in this manner... Maybe shuui should refomat her brains...haha... maybe~ Shuui, ain't gonna make sense anymore~ Ain't that good? *smiles*

Tasukete~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, this is what i wrote in the band room in the afternoon...Tsk, couldn't control...i really needed to write and draw things out.. Someone just asked me one question wor... This foreboding feeling...~___~ Can't get it off... Now after i know what happened... Tsk..so dotted..oh well.. ~___~ I am right about lotsa stuffs... Tsk...don't do that to me.. the feeling is so strong that it's really overwhelming..i can't do anything...~___~ Ya...but i'm right... just one sentence...Haiz... hope everything will be alright~

Fell in love with an angel 12:44 a.m.Saturday, January 29, 2005

How many 'Dots' can describe how i feel?

Shuuichi.

Band concert's cancelled.

Shuui refuse to believe it at first.
Shuui in denial.

Shuui knew it MAY come to this.

But not after all the agreements and stuffs,
though it must still go through the school.

Agreements got stuck there.

Shuui ain't very very very sad.
But Shuui is sad.

Shuui is more dotted.
Absolutely Dotted.

Shuui love song, "Huntington Celebration".

Shuui dislike song, "Japanese Graffiti", during sectionals.
But it sounds really nice during combined practice.

No chance to play.

Band's cancelled tomorrow.

But Shuui still getting back her flute tomorrow.
Shuui wants to play pieces at home.

Shuui is tired.

Band stuffs are a section of Shuui's mind.

Not that Shuui doesn't care.
But got other things in mind.

*frowns*
What else?

School? Studies? Social relations? Sleeping hours? Stress?
Canteen food? Money? Things-that-i-shouldn't-be-thinking?

Sore wa himitsu desu.
It's a secret.

Haha.

Anyway, Listening to the song 'To Zanarkand'...FFX~ Hmm... really very nice.. I like... [Haha, special thanks to Elson for the song..] Shuui needs to go read notes... At least the NMR notes...

Shuui. Overheated.

Fell in love with an angel 09:39 p.m.Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Tsk tsk..

Since i can't concentrate...I've decided to come online.. Uh-huh...Bad move... Lol=P~

Oh ya, the people i missed~ Thinking back...

[Tremendous Twelve]
I have not forgotten all of you... Really hope we will be able to get together one day soon.. Alot of catching up to do right? haha.. Ya, miss ya all and love ya all..

[04S16 [2005] _____ 04S18 [2004]]
Especially Ying Yi, Tee Yi, Phyllis, Wanting, Yihn Shin, Zixuan, Wei Na, Jennyang, Jason and others who made my day one way or another...

[Band Peeps]
Yup, espically Qi, Samantha, Joyce, Elson, Zek, Sharon and alot others who joined us for dinner after band practices~

[04S21 [1st 3 months]]
Oh man, we didn't really keep in contact...Really miss ya guys... I remember BaoYue said something about us going to JJ and them coming back...Haven't seen them for a long time.. Missed FH's damn lame and pervertic jokes...lol, oh ya, and his rumblings on his love for Mathematics... As for Bixia, we are still staying in contact and i got to see her in school, which is something i'm really glad of^___^

[Zenith _____ Zion]
My first OG/Tribe and Clan... We were really united wor... but we split up really quickly too... *ponders* Missed the times...Haha, really do... Sometimes Reuben will come and chat with meh online... Kinda memorable... The times.. Zion will forever be the best tribe and OG in my heart..which caused a huge impact in my life~

[SGanime peeps]
Especailly the Talk Cock Sing Song gang~ My online friends~ Who aren't just online friends anymore as we've met up and done stuffs, went for outing together... haha, interesting bunch of people / animals =P Love to glomp people..[<--some] Actually i do miss you al.. Haha, days are hard to get by when the forum server aren't working... oh man... haha...

[Mason]
Haha, i love ya all.. Especially the OGLs ^__~ 'Nuff said..

[05S11 _____ Oreo]
I do miss my OG~ I really want to get to know them better.. haha, must i really must try to remember their names and match them with their faces... My poor memory aren't helping... [Well, i think they would understand if i tell them that i don't know how to differentiate Jacky Cheung from Andy Lau...*gets bished by Tremendous Twelve* lol~ I still don't really get it..] Missed them*__*

[4B peeps]
Do miss the times all of us were together... I mean, with Miss Lai, Miss Suriyani and all.. Our lame clap~~~ Remember? *clap* *pause* *clap* *pause* *clap*... Haha... Ya... And Loh Yun!!!! You are never forgotten~ =P~ [Special privilege, i bold your name^__~] Oh ya, and Mian Chun papa~ Chao Rui~ Zhi wei~ Daryl~ lotsa lotsa~ Actually i missed Saraswati too.. she used to sit beside meh...Had a very different impression about her..^__^

[2C peeps]
Other than the Tremendous Twelve... All the rest of ya~ Hmm, ya, Kelvin~ haha, long time no chat with ya... I remember we used to always chat online...*__* The rest~ Yan Liang, Choon Siong, Brandon, that group~ Umar!! Haha, hmm.. Alot leh.. Ya...

[Kranji Band Peeps]
Especially Sirs and the flute section!! *muack muack* Haha...Ya ya, Wei Pei, Yuan zhen, Asri, Xue Wei, Bao Xiang, Lizhen, Yenting, Geok khim [shifu~~]... so many, how to write... Yes, SIRS~

[AHS]
Not forgotten... Love and miss ya all so damn much... AHS peeps no longer there anymore... I know...*huggles*

I think i still missed out alot of people...like tudi ah and lotsa other people... There are interlinked in my life.. Hmm.. like Wanqi, ish Tremendous Twelve, KSS & PJ Band mates at the same time.. Xiaohui's my KSS, SGAnime, PJ friend and lao gong~ Zek is from my first OG, our band dinner group~ Haha *pats*.. Ya, all this kind of stuffs~ I guess every single one of ya, did touch my life one way or another...And i appreciate it... ^___^

Fell in love with an angel 03:24 p.m.Saturday, January 15, 2005

Memorable...

*ish extremely tired* I wanna sleep~

Lessons were as usual... Couldn't understand a single bit on Chemistry... Slow learner + Lagging brains + Sleep deprivation, ain't helping at all.. Gonna flunk my Econs test horribily, for my brains chose to stop functioning then, and i didn't know what to write... And i wrote crap.. Gone case~

Band was enjoyable, at least to me... A change of mindset..since..when? Anyway, i do look forward to band practices.. I have no idea why... *thinks thinks* Kinda got this heart to try your best in every practise and do it at your own pace and not be overly stressed... Even with all those Band Leader and conductor stuffs going on... I do feel connected to the band members wor... Hmm... Maybe there isn't much to talk between each of us.. But still... hmm..a little bit of unity? Is it because of the band chalet or ? Anyway, my fingers have been in love with the piece 'Huntington Celebration' and it refuses to cooperate when playing 'Ithaca'..[I don't remember how to spell...sorry, brains not functioning now...] I need some practises and some confidence... hope that will be the ingredients for 'Ithaca' to be better...

After that, went for OGL BBQ~ Argh, we were trying to find the best time to leave band and go for the dinner... But in the end we stayed throughout the whole band prac...[and i didn't regret that~] Hmm...everyone finished eating when we came down...It looked kinda weird... Afew band members there eating the 'leftovers'... haha... Anyway, to me... it's the company that matters... I love my clan peeps~ ya.. We did lotsa cheering, clapping, stamping, jumping, shouting, screaming, singing, running, boo-ing, and many other stuffs... Haha, we were quite high... or ya, we voted for our best OGL of our clan~ Kelvin~ [Well, they only allow us to vote for people who are present jsut now~] I seriously think Kelvin deserves it..^___^ Each of us are allowed to write 2 names... I guess Kelvin's name is in every piece of paper...haha.. did lotsa stuffs... Ya, ran round the track and sat down on the tracks... and look at the stars... we sat in a circle and made wishes... I made only one i guess... The rest i'll keep in my mind.. but i'll write 2 out okie? i think it's Junjie's wish... He said that he hope that when we get seperated, after we graduate or something, we will meet back at the same place, same time, 10 years later... Ya i remember the date and time... Date: 14 jan 2015, Time: 21:31... Then yaolong said something like he wanna do something bad... He wished that we will never get seperated, so that Junjie's wish will not come true... aw, how sweet... haha... did lotsa things, went to pin our doodles of on the board... When to gather at Mcdonalds and discussed about clan outings and ogl stuffs... Oh ya, we've got our own table~~ For us to gather in the morning... ya, in the canteen...lol~ Oh man, i love them so much~

I'm gonna shift this blog elsewhere... it's too easy to find.. i always find it disturbing, but lazy to do anything... hmm...soon soon, i'll shift the entries one by one...to that elsewhere... when i have the time.. Anyway, after today, though it's really really tiring and i'm half-dead now... it makes me wanna go on... then jia you tomorrow..[<--*looks at clock* I mean today..] And try to catch up with my studies and all... Jia you jia you~ Try to balance between school work, friends, human relations and band first... I'm trying... really trying... haiz... sometimes i really think i'm really dumb... slow learner... oh well, things get worse when i'm sleep deprived... i forget everything that i learn... SingYing, jia you jia you...Let me work hard and play hard...

*huggles minna*

Oh ya, i really want to leave some time out for my OG... I wanna draw and write some stuffs for them... i've planned everything out le... just need some free time...

Fell in love with an angel 12:33 a.m.Saturday, January 15, 2005

..Back... for awhile~

*ish still going on*

Dropped by some blogs today... ~__~I've neglected lotsa of my friends... especially sec school friends... wonder how they have been doing? Hm...some i also don't know how to ask..but that's another thing...

Gotta study... I actually don't intend to go out on Sat after band, except to the Library... Argh.. Forgot the Opening of Tenchi... Tsk.. in Ang Mo Kio~ My old hometown... I guess i'll drop by...

I miss lotsa people... but i guess i need to concentrate on studies for this period of time... Ja ne~

You Are a Retrospective Soul

The most misunderstood of all the soul signs. Sometimes you even have difficulty seeing yourself as who you are. You are intense and desire perfection in every facet of your life. You're best described as extremely idealistic, hardworking, and a survivor. Great moments of insight and sensitivity come to you easily. But if you aren't careful, you'll ignore these moments and repeat past mistakes. For you, it is difficult to seperate the past from the present. You will suceed once you overcome the disappoinments in life. Souls you are most compatible with: Traveler Soul and Prophet Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

You Are a Prophet Soul

You are a gentle soul, with good intentions toward everyone. Selfless and kind, you have great faith in people. Sometimes this faith can lead to disappoinment in the long run. No matter what, you deal with everything in a calm and balanced way. You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle. Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings. A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning. You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer. Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Which one do you think i am?

Fell in love with an angel 08:05 p.m.Thursday, January 13, 2005

Songs

"Welcome To My Life"
Simple Plan

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

[One of my favourite songs, which describes what i feel when i'm really down.. but i can't really say it describe me now... for i do think that they are people who cares... But it does decribe the negative side of meh^__^ Somewhere~ Inside~]

"True"
Ryan Cabrera

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
That you belong with me

You might think
I don't look
But deep inside in the corner of my mind
I'm attached to you

I'm weak
It's true
Cause I'm afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
Cause my heart keeps falling faster

I've waited all my life
To cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited

This is true

You don't know
What you do
Everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move

I'm weak
It's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know you met me?

I've waited all my life
To cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try, anything to be with you
All my life I've waited

This is true

I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
The way that's true

I've waited all my life
To cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try, anything to be with you
All my life I've waited

This is true

[I love this song...] Study mode...on again.. hope i survive the night...ya..

Fell in love with an angel 09:48 p.m.Wednesday, January 12, 2005

........Still dotted...

Here's the deal.. Tsk, not bothering speaking as Shuui le~ Sing Ying here... aka Tok..

*ish extremely stressed* In case you've been wondering, what's there to be stressed about... 70%, you are not a chemistry student... *coughs* 30% is that you are a chemistry student... you are good in chemistry, can understand what is going on or you are a slacker... This applies to PJC J2 students...

Just when you're wondering why i'm so DAMN stressed... coz... I didn't get to copy finish the notes during the holiday lectures, so all my notes are half empty... so i didn't get to study them during holidays... But i DID revise the first few organic chemistry topics... BUT, i totally forgot what i studied... Everything down the drain.. And now, i don't even remember half of my promos organic chemistry, i still have about 6 more chapters more to go, that i have not even touched...

it's my fault, yes i know.. And i'm not smart you know... I got my grades by plain hardworking...~___~ You should go check out the extent i go to study.. Anyway, the point is that i am a slow learner and i need TIME... I have 6 hrs free period so far.. and i didn't get to finish the stuffs i wanna read up... why? Coz i take a really long time to understand...but after that i'll remember... BUT it's not working for chemistry.. Maybe i'm too tired... I have NO idea... I need my Brain cells...i'm doing really dumb things now... and saying dumb things...

Economics... I forgot ENTIRELY about my Market Structure... Do you believe me? Maybe an impression? I cannot even remember where is the MC and AC and whatever curve... I cannot remember what cuts what to maximise profits... I cannot remember much.. at least anything of use... Maths, i forgot how to do curve sketching... I hate graphs... so it isn't surprising.. But i seriously forgot the most basic stuffs...and the asymptotes and all until i read up... Now you see where all the time goes?

...............Stressed about some stuffs elsewhere.. ya.. and some stuffs about human relations... Please, i can't think for everyone or as much as i do when i don't have my brain cells... Please forgive me if i irritated you all with the OGL stuffs... For i think, so far, it's the only thing that can make me feel happy from my heart... Ya... even just plain cheering... *thinks* I might be staying away from some people, coz i know you all cannot stand it and think it's dumb... it's okie, that's fine with me... If you want, you can tell me to stay away, straight in the face... *sigh* I mean, i'm not really feeling very good about post-orientation... [Lol, like Nancy[spell?] said, OGL withdrawal... you think it's crap? Think again...] But kinda no one around meh to crap orientation with meh when i'm most stressed except Jennyang.. but seriously, if you're still calm and cool after the orientation, then you havent given enough...on the spirits part... [There are always 2 sides.. you may be taking the responsibility part and all... and you're character are those cool and calm or you keep things within you...that is fine^___^ I can understand..so i won't pin-point or say all people...haha...]

Anyway, many things are crap... I thought i can last till March, but i think i can't... Things aren't going to be easy on my family life, studies, and human relations... I think the me now is close to the breaking down kind.. not THAT close... but still... anyway, 'breaking down' in this sense, doesn't mean 'crying'... i meant as in Shuuichi and Singying will not be there... Maybe will replaced by another part of me who is... i would say... 'heck care'... Em..ya, so stay away from me...

Crap crap and more crap, believe what you will...I don't care le ba... *ish stressed* Ya, i know, the part about my left hand unable to coordinate with my right hand is crap... But it is true for the time being... maybe should practise more...coz my left hand ain't flexible enough... but maybe should try writing with left hand and doing stuffs that way...anyway... this is crap... yes, this is me... and i'm stressed... people ain't helping... but i don't expect that coz everyone's starting to 'break down' or rather 'change'...[maybe temporary, maybe permanently] Things ain't easy for everybody... So i'm selfish... Not asking anyone to suit me, but siam me if you don't wanna see me... I think if you make any nasty comment, either i'll break down crying, or i'll say something sacarstic back to you...if i keep quiet... there's definately some serious damage inside me... oh well, i'll deal that myself...

If you find this writing style any different from my old one... Then good... For i'm not thinking for anyone now.. *Ish just tired* I'm going back to my routine of drinking tea and studying to late night... Hope for the best... Maybe i should come up with a name like bohui for this stressed side of me... i seriously think i'm having split personality... I'll come up with one soon...

This is my blog... I live for myself, I live for the moment.. But you are the ones making it worth the torment.. sufferable because of what is going on... Thankies for being by my side... ya... It's because of all these... I appreciate the tiniest things possible.. Without them, i can't go on~

Ish stressed... Changes going on... Family, friends, everywhere... me...

Ganbatte!

Fell in love with an angel 07:08 p.m.Wednesday, January 12, 2005

...Thoughts again...[PartII]

Something to add...

'Go on' in terms of...

Studies...
Friends...
Band...
Family... [I'm trying...really trying...]
My mental aspect...
My social life...

And lots that i can't remember currently... okie, i'll write my new year resolution on chinese new year okie? lol, coz i missed the date...

Anyway, i'm quite serious about what i've said... Ya...Keep it constantly in my mind can le~

Oh, love life? Let nature take its course...lol~

I really wonder why... But you made me strong... Allow me to go on... Ya... I don't even know why...

Last note...

Fell in love with an angel 11:23 p.m.Tuesday, January 11, 2005

..Thoughts again...

Actually i wanted to write lotsa stuffs..but nah.. read somethings that made me change my mind... and realise more.. than i usually do..

I seriously have no idea why...
You actually caused a large impact in my life...
I didn't know i was right, choosing you in the first place...
But now i do...
And i appreciate it...
Really...
Though it was not the best of ways...
But you made me see light...
Maybe not guide me, but made me find my way...
On my own...
Even if so...
I will still go on...

For once, i thank Kami-sama for letting me meet you...

I AM going on, and STILL going strong...

Jia you, Sing Ying~

My 2nd time i said the same sentence in this blog... About the same time last year...no, i think is Feb...

Will not falter...

Fell in love with an angel 11:00 p.m.Tuesday, January 11, 2005

OH shit...
Damn... Please kill me...~___~

I wanna turn back time...

Fell in love with an angel 09:41 p.m.Sunday, January 9, 2005

OH man...

I feel like stabbing myself this moment..

Nuff said.

Fell in love with an angel 09:41 p.m.Sunday, January 9, 2005

Add on...

4th entry of the day... Can't study today...Gotta chiong my entry in written diary, get thoughts off my head and try to move on^___^

And suddenly, i was asking myself... Do i still...him?

I said that i've let go.......
Have i?
I don't even know myself...
Ja ne~

Fell in love with an angel 11:19 p.m.Saturday, January 8, 2005

Thoughts..

Argh, my thoughts left me again... This is my 2nd..or should you say 3rd entry of the day...In case you haven't noticed... The 2 entries before this, aren't really coherent, for i can't express what i wanna say.. I'll be digging into my written diary for awhile there, while i sort out some thoughts...

*ish teary eye* I'm really tired.. dozed off just now.. i wasn't even sure how long i slept.. Ya, i ought to be studying... But i can't.. I need to find my way out of here, wherever this place is.. Hmm..i remember someone said something about 'withdrawal syndromes' after Orientation camp..LOL, i think i'm feeling it now.. Okie, so here's the thing... Either i'll be crazy and totally dumb these few weeks, or i'll be quiet and deep in thoughts... So people bear with me okie? You'll probably see a stressed Shuuichi in school... She missed lotsa lessons and ish really lost in Chemistry and needs IMMEDIATE help..

*shrugs* I gotta catch up some stuffs in band too.. kinda long since i played... But it felt great to play again^____^ I miss my flute..Haha, should have brought it home today... But nvm, Wednesday is sectionals, i can continue to practise... So i'm quite happy that i'm in band today.. Hmm..my plan of the day: Must go thruogh all the pieces at least once on Wednesday.. And ya, our band concert clashed with our March common test... *sweats* Eto..i'm pretty sure i'm gonna flunk this test unless i study really hard... *ish thinking* Actually if i really do flunk the test, i'll most probably be made to re-take JC1 again.. I don't mind in the studies' sense.. But i mind in the 'social' sense... [Put this 2 words together and you get 'social studies~][Okie, i know i know.. not funny~ *grins*] Ya...Hope everything goes well and Umi[spelling?] won't be so stressed about it.. Hm, if we really can't change the date, i guess we can still practise one week before exam..sigh.. But i know for sure i'll flunk my common test.. I can't study like that...*sighs* We'll see ba...

Ya, i'm gonna be popping in classes~ Hey hey~ Eh...Monday got physics period right? Hmm...~___~ Maybe i'll study my chemistry then.. Haiz, alot of stuffs to catch up..or maybe go disturb my OG aka 05S11.. *ponders* Haiz, i think i really need ot study.. This will be the last Saturday i'llbe hugging my computer for so long.. *ish very stressed* Jia you ba..I'm a slow learner.. Well, i'll try my best to study, practise my band pieces, in human relations and have fun... Oh man, it's gonna be really tiring~__~ *sweats*

I hope my mind will cooperate with meh when the time comes...Stop thinking...The truth will be known soon ba... Don't think so much about it.. I've haven't been actively reading mangas for quite a long time.. Probably won't do so...for quite awhile... Shuui won't be drawing much too... Haha, speaking of drawing...Ezek finally returned me my drawing...lol... Kidnapped my drawing.. Ya.. Oh, that reminds me of something...oh well..

I'll stop blabbering...gonna go pick up my notes and study...after my dinner...maybe come online at night~

Fell in love with an angel 07:34 p.m.Saturday, January 8, 2005

*ish dotted*

Aren't feeling any better... Mixed feelings... Still thinking, why can't i just react and speak to some people like i do to everyone else? I have no idea...

.......
It cannot be...can it?

Yup yup.. 05S11, 04S18 [2004], 04S16[2005], OGLs i love you all...

Fell in love with an angel 02:47 p.m.Saturday, January 8, 2005

Mixed, mixed...Ice Kachang~

*ish tired* You know, i can't say much...I don't even know what to say in the first place... I can't find words to describe this orientation..especially today... I can't find words for today...Like i always say...Things that are really important and special to me..i will keep in my mind.. no words to describe..

Was crying at the end, due to somethings, or rather many things~ Haha, alot of mixed feelings due to somethings and other stuffs...

Really detest my character and nature... i feel it so strongly today... Can't I be a 'CI' character? Conflicting character... exactly opposite qualities... Hmm..like Yao Long... It'll definately be better.. At least that's what i think... I have an extremely negative 'I' character... Haiz... I am a 'C'...'C' character traits...The person will have many faces.. yup.. This is one of them.. Nothing is fake, everything is real or should you say that nothing is real...These faces are a part of meh..can't control it.. Like when i am in 'blur', i will be more sociable and crazy... I won't be able to remember things and details and think very well...

Which is what is happening these few days... Coming in contact with many people is draining... If only i am naturally sociable, then it won't be that difficult, and i can think... Maybe i'm just too tired...which is sooo true.. I ain't thinking much yesterday...brains aren't working...

Until during the eveing, when suddenly, my brains just shut back into action.. and Shit..~__~ All the analytical things came crashing into my head... Oh man, and i just realised alot of things in just that few minutes... That includes some people's character that i've come across this 3 or more days.. Suddenly, everything makes sense.. The brains tell you for what to look for...

Ooops, i seriously, actually doze off on my seat...Nite! Band tomorrow..I seriously, can't stay away anymore...Continue next time..

Fell in love with an angel 12:50 a.m.Saturday, January 8, 2005

*ish tired*

Was facing the computer and laughing...LOL.. Clan conversation...Haha~

Okie, just some thing... tsk, coming in contact with many people that i've never known is mentally very very draining for me... ~__~ My character wise... So i get tired really easily, mentally..

Eh...just thinking wor..my DISC character... Was SC during my secondary school days, with extremely high and equal S & C ..Then now become CS, extremely high CS, with slightly higher C wor... From Peacemaker to Advocate... Then i have extreme negative case of D & I.. I seriously think that i should be anti-social..my 'I' is extreme case of low..haha...okie, got improve from my secondary school years lah... You would be thinking...'Tsk, like that how come become OGL..' Sometimes ah..You must have people who can lead but also others... I joined for a purpose ba.. not for CIP hours hor.. hmm.. But i do learn lotsa things...*muses*..

Incoherant thoughts le... I can't think anymore...*ish very tired* Especially after the Gary thingy.. Burnt out all my brain cells... My sensors wanna take a break...~__~ But it's like forever 'on' le~ Cannot act blur, OGL must be alert...Sigh~

I doubt anyone understand what i'm saying...code language... *dozes off*

Fell in love with an angel 12:01 a.m.Thursday, January 6, 2005

A Note

Em..ya, a note to Loh Yun... Wanna apologise wor, for not going to Escape then.. Coz i believe that's how you feel on that day, when all the people close to you or were close to you couldn't make it...And you really really want us to go... You must be thinking the same way as me then... How come all can just go out the day before so easily, yet cannot go out on that day with me...so me here say sorrie to you k? *huggles* Not forgotten you...yup..

Fell in love with an angel 05:17 p.m.Sunday, January 2, 2005

Before i go...

Going off to Popular to get some stationerys, Chinatown or PS to get cloth[again][this time not for cosplay or band but for ogl thingy..] Then maybe go Kinokuniya..Haiz, no money..but got 20% coupons...maybe can get mangas[comics]? But low on cash..*sighs*

*coughs* Replies in guestbook next week...Yup yup, before i go, i believe it's better to reply to Qi's entry first k?

Firstly, i apologise to you...Like what i said before that, in the few entries k.. If you are reading my blog, then i will apologise for that 'accusation' of sorts..[Eh, it's kinda too strong a word..but something like that..] It kinda, like i said before, i'm not making it an obligation to read this blog.. but kinda, it adds up as a factor which kinda makes me feel that way, you know... Kinda like when you think a certain way, some things just proved to make you even more intent on thinking that way.. That time what i felt was kinda like those things... Like you know... It's good getting a tagboard...*coughs* I'm digressing.. Kinda like it's really evident that you all will be there for each other, you see...

Argh, this is going to sound really bad... I really think that way...~__~ Nvm, you can be angry with me saying these things okie... The 'you' actually refers to 6 people...out of 12.. You know i was really wrong to be kinda 'pinpointing' and it's really bad.. I never included Bohui in the 6 in the first place, so it's okie... I included Chween in the 6 but excluded chween in the first few sentence in the first place coz i know that she'll always be there and i love her for it...*huggles* Coz it's always like a small world there for the 6 of ya... I can understand that, coz i mean like, you know, first 3 months, you gals are always together..of sorts...at least go out or something..So the bond's really strong... But can't help but really feel that way lor.. coz kinda lotsa entries there are really for you gals..all 12 of ya~ Especially Iris and afew others...*nodds* really..For i think, that's what i can do at least... But it's... Really what i think, that none gets it, coz none actually reads them..and at the same moment, not moment, i mean at the same period of time, you guys are always there for each other... *pause* Okie, i know you can't get it... I mean, that period of time, i'm trying to maybe do some encouragement or shining some light...as little it may seem.. but at that period of time, you all are *among yourselves*... Get it? So kinda... feels that no one actually appreciates.. It's really good you know, to have such a bond and be there to support yourselves..And i'm here making it sound like a bad thing... Haiz, i'm really damn bad with words...

And it just got worse when i mean right after my event [of sorts..] 1 day or 2 days later, you gals [not all] went SP or something...if i'm not wrong... It makes everything worse...Make me think why? Serious, really, i'm not really asking you all to go...[I can't say that i'm not disappointed but still, that's really not the point..] Kinda because there wasn't even a sms at all.. At that point, i remembered all the stuffs that you all do, those simple sms-es for yourselves.. And i hoped you know, hoped that you all will never read these entries, as it's really selfish of me.. All sorts of stuffs going on, everyone wasn't having much of a good year.. And here i am..fussing over such a thing.. you get what i mean.. i wrote it here, because i really need to get everything out really fast and writing seemed too damn slow..I really wished that you all will just read from the most recent post and miss those entries...get what i mean..?

Like i said, like, it seems so easy to just go SP, or TP, but it seemed so wrong.. What makes me not delete those entries, as i don't think you all should read it, you know...it that about 1 or 2 days after the event, one of you came to ask me how was it... I'm glad, i really am...I mean at least you remembered? But somethings are mentioned and asked that showed that you all aren't reading at all.. That's why i left it there... I know Lichween will read it.. I don't meant for her to feel that way..For i excluded her in the first place, and i know she will be there... But this is my blog...i couldn't help writting down what i really think... Told you it was selfish of me..right?

Okie, i've stated my stand and that's what i came to terms with myself and god knows what... My reply to what you wrote k?

Know what.. Love ya for reading all.. Really do.. I mean my blog is damn long leh..and lotsa crappy stuffs... Ya, i remember the late night coversation thingy..^___^ Tan Cheng Xiang Dui...ya.. I've read this quite afew days ago, but i seriously don't know how to reply, coz i mean, words won't do the job here... So i drag and wait... Now i still don't know what to write.. So I can only think of...

"Ya, i believe you."

This entry took me..53mins..so far..woah..Many people sick these few days wor...Take care and drink more water...Oie!! Remember to bring umbrella to school tomorrow hor~ Seriously, it's gonna be raining...Yup yup, gotta go out now... Will be writing down my resolution when i get home.. I want this year to work out well.. And hope for the best for everyone... Things aren't going to be easy and somethings are getting ugly... but all i can say is...

"Yup Yup, Let's do it~"

Fell in love with an angel 03:54 p.m.Sunday, January 2, 2005

LOTR screencaps...

Will reply to the guestbook entries maybe tomorrow^__^

Now, to satisfy my LOTR craze...

Fear
[One of the scenes at Edoras..]

[Eowyn]
"....I fear neither death nor pain.."

[Aragorn]
"What do you fear, my lady?"

[Eowyn]
"A cage. To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them.